Special Education Teacher, Special Education Parent

I've been in special education for 14 years. Throughout those years I have learned an abundance about children and how they learn, families and how they influence, individual learning disabilities, how to educate someone with learning disabilities, and the Special Education Laws.
After completing my Bachelor Degree, I started teaching special education mathematics and science in California. I cannot put into words the remarkable feeling I would have each time I taught a child something they had been struggling to learn. I fell in love with these students and went on to receive a Master Degree of Science in Special Education. Earning this degree allowed me to work with all students and all subjects. Upon moving to New York, I began working with Early Intervention. This was equally rewarding because I not only got to help small children, but I also got the privilege of working with their parents directly.
Over the past 14 years, I have been blessed with the gift of teaching students of all ages and helping them and their families reach the next level of achievement.

Two years ago, my young son was diagnosed with a severe speech disorder which affected him across the board of academics. Being in the field, I did notice the delays early and got him assessed quickly. Unfortunately, this is where my level of experience and education fell to a halt. It was by far the most emotional experience that I have ever encountered. Being on the "teacher" side was significantly easier than being on the "parent" side. I didn't want to hear it! I didn't want to believe it! How could this be? I instantly went into denial and because of this, allowed his school district to take complete control over my son's Individual Education Plan (IEP). I went into the meetings emotional and scared. What were they going to say about my son? I was completely handicapped with fear and could not tap into my education or experience at all. I became the parent only and allowed the school district to guide me through the process.
Based on the recommendation of the school district, my son attended a special nursery school class designed for children with speech delays. I saw huge improvements immediately. This allowed my denial to remain. At the end of that school year, the directors of the special nursery school told me that they thought my son was autistic or even mentally retarded. Once again, the only thing that I could tap into was fear and denial. This could not possibly be true. I would have seen this coming, wouldn't I? Looking back now - no I couldn't have, because I was stuck in denial and not tapping into my education and experience. When the next annual IEP meeting came, I was even more emotional, more fearful and continued in denial. This time the school district recommended a full-day pre-school at another special school. They told me to scout out some schools from their list and make the choice myself, or they would choose one for my son. So I started scouting around. It was at this point that I noticed that the schools they were sending me to were designed for Autistic children only.
Finally, I woke up from denial. Could the school district actually have labeled my son with Autism without me even realizing it? Could I have allowed this to happen? The answer was yes, they did. Legally, they could because I was not paying attention or participating due to being in denial. I actually allowed this to happen! I allowed them to use only my son's assessments and teacher reports to make educational decisions for my child without my input. Well I went home, dug out all of my son's paperwork for the last year and went through it. I treated my son's IEP like any other case I worked with. I tore through it, organized it into a binder like I use for my students, went through my checklists, and started to find all the loopholes and errors made by the special school and the school district. I found that I could not blame the school district directly because they were taking the information they received from the teachers and did not have much input from me. In this particular part - I was at fault. I did not fully participate. I had not paid attention to what they were saying or what was going on. I had no one to blame for this but myself. My son was about to receive services that would not meet his needs, and it was my fault.
I had finally taken the matter into my control. I wrote a long list of my sons strengths and weaknesses. I figured out how he learned something new and where he got stuck with new information. I got on the phone with my son's pediatrician and interviewed her, comparing her notes with my own. I had definitely been in denial, but I was not crazy! Nobody knows my son better than me. He has a severe speech delay which affects his learning ability. When approached based on his learning style and speech delay, he learns quite well. I went into the school district office and asked for a list of all the approved speech schools on Long Island. Then, I started interviewing the schools with a full-day pre-school program. This was a much different experience. I knew that I would be able to find the right speech program for him now that I was in control. I researched all the programs offered to students with special needs within our school district. When attending the next IEP meeting to finalize all of this, I was a much more knowledgeable and participating parent. Needless to say, the school district was a little "shocked" of my knowledge on the subject and allowed me to lead the team to approve a pre-school program of my choice that would best meet my sons educational needs.

I learned from all this that it was not my education necessarily that allowed me to gain control of the meeting. Although knowing the laws and my rights certainly helped. But mostly, it was the fact that I had done the research. I figured out what kind of learner my son was, I researched all the programs that he was entitled to based on his disability, and I went through all of his paperwork and found the inconsistencies and the loopholes. I took control and I took advantage of all that the district had to offer.

The point here is, anyone can do this. You don't need the Master Degree. You just need to know your rights, your child, and the district programs. These small tools will give you the knowledge you need. Knowledge is power, and you too can take control of your child's education. Remember that IEPs are specially designed for each student. What ever his/her disability may be, the IEP should meet their personal educational needs. It is up to us as parents of children with special needs, to make sure that our child is receiving the appropriate services in order for them to advance to the next level.